A morning walk...

Speed..Speed and more speed…oh! I loved running! The wind resisting my body, blood gushing down towards my feet with fierce velocity, heart throbbing like a frustrated drummer and my mind just living the moment … I let the speed take control. I surrender my whole existence to that moment….letting my mind think nothing. When my poor body failed to match my insatiable hunger of that adrenaline rush, I forced my body to halt. And only then, I realized the existence of other joggers in the park. Now I am able to hear the noises, the constant chatter of people and their petty thoughts. And now I desire for more speed again. But I know my body had had enough. So with utter helplessness I turn to the wide sea spread before me. Ah! Wise old sea….so calm yet full of zest. It knew no limits. It’s free to flow…full of deepness and mystery. I close my eyes, and breathe its saline air…and I try to connect to it…

 “Oh my my…I never imagined getting up early would be such a pleasing experience!”

Somebody shouts in my ears. Well, that can’t really be described as “shouting”…a loud self talk you could say. I felt like somebody shook me from a very sweet slumber. No… it was more like somebody poured freezing cold water on me! I looked at that annoying human being with conspicuous grimace. “What a beautiful morning…isn’t it? You come here every day?” It was a young man…maybe in his early 20’s. He surely must have missed his late night booze party. Probably saw rising sun for the first time in his life! And now he was trying to hit on me, not finding anything else to pass his time! Huh…today’s poor kids. I just gave a nod and moved on, feeling a stint of anger for this unsatisfied morning. I got home and my life sped like every day buried in files, meetings and more soul killer work…it was a blur following with an inevitable headache, as I entered my house at midnight. I rested my back to the feather soft mattress…but my mind felt no comfort. Same old restlessness engulfed again. Guilt of wasting my life…was consuming my conscious…and I cried for sleep to take over. And finally I was out of this world.

 Sun rays yet to touch this world. Good…I was first, again! I teased the almighty sun! Again I drowned myself in speed. Again I felt pity for this ever tiring body of my never tiring soul! And again I turned to my benevolent ocean.
“Hi! You’re a clock man!”
Again the same annoying human being! God, what’s his problem? I didn’t turn to look at him this time. Keeping my eyes closed, I tried to connect to the sea again. 

“Man, you are like trying to connect to the sea or something? That’s very spiritual of you!”

I felt like slitting his throat then and there. Clearly losing all my concentration I prepared to leave. He tried to say something but I cut him off and walked really fast. This time I was really annoyed. I needed this early morning hours alone to gather up enough energy to serve pathetic shallow human beings like him, all day. And now these Homo sapiens are intruding and snatching my only source of sanity. Great! How am I supposed to survive then? I got home frustrated. And pushed and dragged myself to work, slogged there and came home feeling completely numb.

Next morning I left for jogging early than usual. When I felt my heart finally touching my rib cage, I stopped. My eyes caught a sight of a beautiful picture of a rising sun laying on one the benches. I definitely had never seen anything like that before. It was an exact reflection of the sun rising from behind the vast sea. That was precisely how I saw every day and felt eternally connected to the universe for 5 minutes.
 “Just trying to imitate the real nature. “
 I looked back startled. It was the same annoying human being. But this time, I felt curiosity kick in the place of anger.
 “It’s beautiful”,
I almost whispered while still holding the picture in my hand.
 “No, I can’t replicate the real thing. It’s not possible. I certainly tried to observe every bit of details, tried to capture every tint of its beauty in my mind. But every time I look at this sea and the masculine sun showing off its beauty flaring its magical rays…I feel captivated...Feel ,kind of hopelessly in love with it…so beautiful…so enigmatic…and I feel proud that I am part of this nature, who make such wonders everyday! That’s what you feel every morning right? Tell me, how can I paint that feelings in this picture? How can I help other people feel this beautiful feeling?”

 I was numb. His words filled my conscious. They were echoing…banging my whole existence. Those words shook my core existence. This messy kid…who wore shorts and crumbled t-shirt saying “Friday night full tight” , had already learned what I never even attempted to learn by attending spiritual workshops and seminars all my life! I cursed; this world is a shit place to live in…and a complete hell. I felt divinely connected for just 5 minutes every day. But I was so thrifty when it came to sharing this divinity with the world. But this kid thrived, by knocking at each heart and trying to pass on the feeling of eternity. As I bed him good day…I no longer dreaded my day to follow. My heart was smiling…and my mind was serene. I saw waves of energies coming my way…finally i had smashed the windows and opened the rusted doors to this beautiful world!