On Turning 21...
"16 was surreal, 18 was a tad presumptuous and as I turn 21 today, it feels like crash landing a fully functional plane on a smooth runway!"
Yup I am 21 years old. Perhaps the most confusing and dazed birthday of all. So much is going to change from now on. Not only am I going to shrug off the protective cover of my parents but also put on a responsible coat of life at the same time! Even writing this feels like writing fiction. But this is reality! I am full blown in my 20-something!
Till now I saw this world, and have made several mental notes unconsiously of what I don't want my life to be! Now is the time to pull out those notes and reminders and put them into force.
As I had mentioned in my previous posts, I am in alice-in-wonderland situation. I see different roads in front of me. And I keep asking that furry cat, "Which road should I take?"
I don't have slightest clue. All look the same to me right now.
True I could change my path in the future if I feel I made wrong decision at the 21 juncture. But there is never going to be a "from the scratch" like this first time.
It is strange. At 18 I was full of clarity and confidence that on my graduation from college I would have figured out what I am going to do with this life. I am almost a graduate and I still don't know. Lucky are the people who find passion even before they know how to talk.
I have a feeling that I have to swim in variety of waters to find what I truly want to do.
And I am OK with not knowing my true calling just right now.
But there are things that I do know at this point.
I know that I want to absorb as much color, beauty, wisdom, knowledge, love, lust, feelings, heartaches, hurt, peace, music and many more things from this world. I want to love and be loved. I want to travel. I want to have weird experiences and awkward moments. I want to be consumed with desires. I want to be a winner. I want to be a loser. I want admiration and I also want to be abhorred. I want to become a mother. I want to become an expert. I want to teach. I want to marry a guy. I want to adjust to that marriage and make sacrifices for it. I want to see vanity. I want to behave vain. I want to read. Yes lot of reading! I want to watch movies...dirty movies too. I want to be a bitch. I want to fall in love. Several times. And again some more. I want to be a blessing.
I want to experience everything I could as a human. So when I reach the end of the aging process, (Which I hope does not come soon!) I would say confidently, "Yes I have lived it all!"
All this emotional writing reminds me of a quote from the movie "Secret life of Walter Mitty"...
Yes, that is the purpose of life!
These are my thoughts at 21!
Lets see how I feel at 30!
Yup I am 21 years old. Perhaps the most confusing and dazed birthday of all. So much is going to change from now on. Not only am I going to shrug off the protective cover of my parents but also put on a responsible coat of life at the same time! Even writing this feels like writing fiction. But this is reality! I am full blown in my 20-something!
Till now I saw this world, and have made several mental notes unconsiously of what I don't want my life to be! Now is the time to pull out those notes and reminders and put them into force.
As I had mentioned in my previous posts, I am in alice-in-wonderland situation. I see different roads in front of me. And I keep asking that furry cat, "Which road should I take?"
I don't have slightest clue. All look the same to me right now.
True I could change my path in the future if I feel I made wrong decision at the 21 juncture. But there is never going to be a "from the scratch" like this first time.
It is strange. At 18 I was full of clarity and confidence that on my graduation from college I would have figured out what I am going to do with this life. I am almost a graduate and I still don't know. Lucky are the people who find passion even before they know how to talk.
I have a feeling that I have to swim in variety of waters to find what I truly want to do.
And I am OK with not knowing my true calling just right now.
But there are things that I do know at this point.
I know that I want to absorb as much color, beauty, wisdom, knowledge, love, lust, feelings, heartaches, hurt, peace, music and many more things from this world. I want to love and be loved. I want to travel. I want to have weird experiences and awkward moments. I want to be consumed with desires. I want to be a winner. I want to be a loser. I want admiration and I also want to be abhorred. I want to become a mother. I want to become an expert. I want to teach. I want to marry a guy. I want to adjust to that marriage and make sacrifices for it. I want to see vanity. I want to behave vain. I want to read. Yes lot of reading! I want to watch movies...dirty movies too. I want to be a bitch. I want to fall in love. Several times. And again some more. I want to be a blessing.
I want to experience everything I could as a human. So when I reach the end of the aging process, (Which I hope does not come soon!) I would say confidently, "Yes I have lived it all!"
All this emotional writing reminds me of a quote from the movie "Secret life of Walter Mitty"...
Yes, that is the purpose of life!
These are my thoughts at 21!
Lets see how I feel at 30!
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